That’s my blog. Blissful Dwelling Place- BDP for short.
I was doing housework, and thinking about a blog post that I’ve been working on for a few days now. I want to say that everything is blissful here, but quite honestly, I can’t do that. But while I was thinking about our difficulties and that post, I had a different thought. I glanced at the calender and remembered that January 24th is my blog’s anniversary.
I just had to write a post and document this special occasion, as my blog is now two years old.
However, things are not blissful between Henry and I. They aren’t horrible either, so don’t worry. I’m not really ready to share our difficulties yet, we’re working things out in private. It’s really big things too, so eventually you will hear about some of it. It’s very emotional things, and not ready for Primetime.
Changes have been made to our marriage since we began Dd about 2 months before I began this blog. I created this blog to document our progress in Domestic Discipline, and we *are* progressing. I just won’t post our struggles until we find a way to work out any difficulties that we’re having. I know that all of you would love to help us, and would likely have some great suggestions. But this is big stuff, that Henry and I need to work out ourselves.
We think that there are some things between us that were just never addressed. Maybe we thought that they were, but certainly they’ve come back to haunt us.
We seem to have done this a lot since we began Dd. We have some real difficulties, we pull back, we talk about it and ask each other if Dd is the answer and each and every time, each of us answers a resounding – yes!
(Why do we even ask the question, I wonder?)
The positive things that this lifestyle have brought to our marriage have been invaluable. We cherish our interactions now, instead of avoid them. We are happier people, and a happier couple in so many ways. We just have some things to work out – that we don’t even understand ourselves just yet.
Talking and more talking is the cure no doubt. I guess there can never be enough talking by the partners in a marriage. I’ve said over and over on BDP, Dd isn’t easy, but both Henry and I think that it’s worth the effort. We are doing just that, putting in the effort.
I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks for your readership, your support, the lovely comments and your friendship!
I never thought that I would love blogging as much as I too. BDP has become an important part of me and a very important support for our marriage.
Congratulations on your blogoversary, Elysia! I know you’ll make it past this latest challenge into a stronger place than ever.
Thanks Kevan. I do know that we’ll get past this, but it always leaves me shaky in the midst of it. Difficulties need to be addressed, but it’s never enjoyable until you reach that stronger place. Then, it feels worth all of the discomfort of the process. Thanks for reminding me of that.
Happy Blogoversary!!! I’m sorry to hear that you and Henry are going through some struggles right now, but it’s good that you’re working through things together. I hope you find yourselves in a much better place soon!
Thanks for the happiness Grace, we could use some around here.
Yes, struggles happen. It would have been nice if things were going well as my blog hit this milestone, but like Mick Jagger says, “you can’t always get what you want… but if you try sometimes, you get what you need”.
I hope that better place comes soon too- so thanks!
Hi Elysia,
I know you have a lot going down right now but I wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and sending lots of support from across the pond! I have really appreciated the time you have given to me being a “newbie” and helping me make sense of this complex lifestyle. Your advice and patience has been invaluable. Thank you so much. Take care and I am sure you and H will work things out. Milly xx
Milly, you have been a very pleasant distraction from my difficulties. You’ve been reminding me of just how far we’ve come, and that I had hoped one day to encourage others. So thanks for giving me the opportunity, and I’m quite flattered. It’s good to embrace “newbie status”, it will serve you well. There should be no shame in *not knowing what you don’t know yet*, and you will be more open to finding understanding if you can accept that the way that you have. I say this here, so that others reading and contemplating delurking or just trying what they have read that has spoken to them in some way might find some courage in that. I know that *you* get this Milly.
You are a bright spot in a dreary winter setting. So, you’re most welcome.
Thanks for your encouragement!
Hi Elysia,
You really have come a long way and don’t ever forget that. You are also an inspiration to others and have given me much confidence with your advice. I certainly do “get” it Elysia. Thinking of you. Milly x
Happy Birthday to your blog! I’m so very glad that you created it so that others can learn from your experiences.-Susan
My blog thanks you Susan, lol. I’m glad that you find BDP of some help, and thanks so much for saying so!
Happy Blogging Anniversary Elysia! Hang in there and work hard! I can tell you from personal experience, marriage ain’t for sissies!!!! Sara
Thanks dear friend! And thanks for your listening ear. Hanging in is easier when you can vent the yucky stuff to someone who truly understands and notes just how difficult this can get. I felt like a sissie b4. Sissies back away. But I’ve found new courage to face my foes. Lucky for me that H sees the foes too, and is standing right behind me with his resolve. Fighting them together really helps.
Happy blogoversary. You are special!!
Kelly
You’re so sweet to say so Kelly, your words really touched me!
Elysia,
My heart goes out to you, to H to your whole family. You are a constant source authenticity. I am impressed with your careful words & strong heart. Many of us have been in your shoes. You’re not alone even though it will be easy to let it happen – Please, Don’t be a soldier. Let us be friends. ((Hugs)) KayLynn
Awwwww! KL, you sweetie! I am tearing up reading this. It just touched my heart so much! As did reading all of the wonderful comments here, I can’t *help* but feel an army of friends behind me!
We *do* all struggle with the same stuff, don’t we? At times I write here on BDP and I ask myself, ‘didn’t I just read this about so and so’, and ‘I do hope she doesn’t think I’m stealing her blog material’.
I write what I feel, and sometimes we are lined up like Olympic swimmers, each in our own lane, pulling along side one another. One is in front, then she is lagging behind. All of us in some dancing zigzag pattern. But then we are *ALSO* all on the pool deck cheering one another on. So, maybe not the best analogy. Do come up with one KL, it is *your* forte, to be sure.
I am working on that post, but working w/ Henry at the same time, and we are moving forward, but there’s so much to do- so it’s just not finished between us. Time on weekends does helo.
I do have another post coming though. Just weeding out the typos and wrapping it in a nice bright bow for y’all.
Thanks sweet friend!
I think working towards creating a “blissful dwelling place” can make a big difference, even if bliss is sometimes hard to achieve. Good luck working through your difficulties. I’ve enjoyed reading your blog the last two years and getting to know you.
Serenity, I’m again dabbing my eyes! Thanks dear friend! You’re so right
about the “working towards”. Why is it that I can remind others of this, but I can’t remember it for my own struggles? It honestly feels like a major construction zone over here. (you relate to that, don’t you?) I guess our place is getting an addition. Actually, that *is* exactly how it feels. We are adding on to our dynamic it seems, and there is chaos during any construction phase, isn’t there?
I’m so glad that you enjoy my blog, and it’s been really nice being new at this right along side of you. Your comments and posts often help me label my own issues.
Thanks for giving me a new perspective on what we’re doing to our BDP. I suppose that once it’s done, we will have that much more equity in Dd.
Happy Belated Blogiversary Elysia. You’ll both get through this and be stronger for it.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Thanks Ronnie! I think you were right on time! It makes me prolong the celebration- and that’s always good!
I’m thankful too for your encouragement here too. I needed another dose to keep me going, and that reminds me of something else that I need an extra dose of- seriously!
Happy second blogaversary! I hope things work out between the two of you.
Hugs,
Hermione
Thanks Hermione! I think we can work it out, but marriage ain’t easy! Your hope here feels very supportive – and *that* is always helpful!
Happy Anniversary to your blog Elysia! I’m sorry that you are having a crumbly time right now but it sounds like you are working hard to resolve it. I don’t know if it relates, but I’ve noticed that since Dd, because we communicate so much better and so much more deeply, we find spaces and places where we have new things to resolve. It surprises me sometimes. I’ll be thinking about you and I’m real glad you and your blog are here!
You know Susie? I’m so glad that my blogoversary happened to fall when it did, b/c it’s keeping me from feeling so down! All of these wonderful comments and well wishes have been great for me!
Thanks so much for your well wishes here. It’s so true,this really is hitting some deep places. The communication is delving down there, and it’s just maybe a sensitive place to be. Lots of new stuff down there! You’re right!
Thanks for thinking of me, and going through such trouble to leave me this nice note!
Happy Blogaversary! I hope that things look up and even out soon.
Lil, you’re so nice to stop over with your well wishes and encouragement. I’m so glad that you did!
Happy Blogaversary, and good luck on working through your issues! I can relate!!
sarah
Oh Sarah, are you in the lane right next to me? I wonder if you have any stroke techniques to share? (wait, that sounds like an HOH thing, lol) Thanks for the happiness and luck. We need all that we can get. Thanks for stopping to tell me so!
Hi Elysia,
Congratulations on this milestone!
I know you have both the tools and the dedication to get beyond any short term obstacles. We believe.
Hugs,
Bonnie
Bonnie! So nice to see you! Thanks for the well wishes and also the encouragement. This steady stream of both is really helping quite a bit. We *are* moving forward and that feels great!